How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
