Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
