He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
