You can't special order awesome
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
