to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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