Non-Jews are for practice
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
