i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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