Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
