My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Randomize
