i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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