just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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