Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
