Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If that was your dad, he is hot
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
