I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
