Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
