There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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