Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My hand turned me down
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
