Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
