All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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