Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
