I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
