oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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