Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
