Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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