at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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