I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
