who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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