he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
