Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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