It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
