You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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