I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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