Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
