you guys were way drunker than both of me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
