spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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