you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize