i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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