Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
