I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just want nice things and good sex
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
