i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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