She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
