I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
