while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
