Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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