I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
