I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am naked and annoyed.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
