I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
