im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
