well you can't waste a boner
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
