Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
