Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
