just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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